Affair

Contradictions: The act of saying something that is opposite or very different in meaning to something else.

LOVE is it in itself a contradiction? Making every touch seem more than what it is, every word seem true when in fact it's contrary to what we Do. If it in fact implies both truth and the falsity of something or someone. Tell me how I draw a line to separate what I know to be true cause up until now every love I've ever known has been contrary to every fairytale I ever knew.

So was it LOVE for you? Or just fantasy in the depths of your mind coming true?  Was I really excited and nervous by the mere sight of you? By wear of your smile? Or was this feeling I felt the anxiety of the risk we were taking? That look in your eyes as you rubbed me down, as you rubbed every thought that knew what we were doing was wrong away ... was that the sweet surrender of intimacy? Or was it just the four play that you normally do?  When you said it would be "ok". Was it from your heart cause you believed we could? Or was it just what you said to pacify me? As you held me and looked in the mirror were you imagining how good we could be ? Planning a reality with me ? Or did our reflection only remind you of all the things we couldn't be? Resenting me for my life that didn't include you? When you leaned in for my kisses and said "Another one" was it really like sugar to you? Or was it just a way cope with all the pain you and I both were going through. When I said I love you did you believe me or were they just words to you? Lil lies imbedded in some form of the truth contrary to what the heart wants or what our minds will allow us to do.

Contradictions.